not my favorite day
four years have passed in a blink
this day i dread come around again: 10/10
five hour drive and no where to escape
admired the golden poplars along 40 west
listened to radiohead and that pretty much fit
crossed the missisippi for the first time by car
legends usually disappoint
how can you live up to so many beautiful words?
i’m sure i’ve idealized you in my mind
but i remember the darker things, they’re in me too
there were days you couldn’t handle
and i never understood
i get it now
i wonder what you would think of my life
you’d never believe i’m a city girl
i’m only there half the time so i don’t suffocate
the rest is highways headed towards the ever-elusive horizon
your predictions for me haven’t all come true
but somehow i’m drawn to them
as if they hold a little piece of you i could touch
i always wanted to be like you
i bet you never knew that’s why i wore my hair so long
sometimes when i look in the mirror and let my focus slip
i can see you standing there and it makes me happy
i wish i could ask you about how you felt
at my age with your path laid out
did you long for things you had passed by,
want to go back and take a second look
just to make sure
to stand where everything is possible for a moment
and revel in it
you didn’t think i’d stay in one place
that’s one thing you got right
maybe you saw yourself in me too
we’ve all scattered now, like a dandelion bloom
and there’s a depth to which we can’t always reach anymore
it’s too hard
i miss you mom
love,
kyler